50 Hilarious TV Screenshots and Freeze Frames
My fav: Firefighters having to deal with people in the middle of the road ejaculating. Absolute brilliance!
4.09.2010
Oh television how you make me chuckle!
Hilarious website of 50 incredible freeze frames on TV. Get some tissues cause you're gonna need them after you see some of these:
50 Hilarious TV Screenshots and Freeze Frames
My fav: Firefighters having to deal with people in the middle of the road ejaculating. Absolute brilliance!
50 Hilarious TV Screenshots and Freeze Frames
My fav: Firefighters having to deal with people in the middle of the road ejaculating. Absolute brilliance!
3.03.2010
Man I can't wait for Spring!!!!
Then it's back to hiking!!!
Biking!!!
Rock Climbing!!!
And what I'm looking forward to most... Flipping on Powerisers over cars!!!!
Yeah - I know you're jealous :)
Ok spring... hurry up and get the F$#% here so I can walk up mountains with sticks, fall off my bike onto my face, stare at some incredible booty whilst climbing natures playground and do awesome flips over mini coopers. SWEEEEEET!
Biking!!!
Rock Climbing!!!
And what I'm looking forward to most... Flipping on Powerisers over cars!!!!
Yeah - I know you're jealous :)
Ok spring... hurry up and get the F$#% here so I can walk up mountains with sticks, fall off my bike onto my face, stare at some incredible booty whilst climbing natures playground and do awesome flips over mini coopers. SWEEEEEET!
2.17.2010
Snowmageddon from space!!!!
Picture taken from the Hubble Space Telescope of DC after the back to back blizzards... Oh NYC how lucky you are!
2.09.2010
Crisis
This is how DC feels right... about... now...
Just had 30" of snow and about to get 16" more. CRIKEY!
Alexisonfire
AKA
Dallas Green
AKA
Best Musician Ever
Crisis
The temperature's through the floor
Your fingers are turning black
There’s a crisis knocking at your door
You had better try to make it home
The snow is getting too deep to drive
your car might be your coffin
We’re never gonna see the summer,
This season is coming, long and hard.
Yeah this town is going under
This season's going to kill us all.
Catch the snowflakes little children
Count them as they bury you alive
Count them as they choke the road ways
A blizzard's coming in the year punk died
One nine seven seven
This season has left us all helpless
I can't see and even God is blind
And deaf to all your prayers
There’s nothing that you can do
The weathers stronger than us all
The sky is going to crush you
This season’s growing cold
I fear that this could be the end
There’s no sign of hope
We’ve got a crisis on our hands.
Just had 30" of snow and about to get 16" more. CRIKEY!
Alexisonfire
AKA
Dallas Green
AKA
Best Musician Ever
Crisis
The temperature's through the floor
Your fingers are turning black
There’s a crisis knocking at your door
You had better try to make it home
The snow is getting too deep to drive
your car might be your coffin
We’re never gonna see the summer,
This season is coming, long and hard.
Yeah this town is going under
This season's going to kill us all.
Catch the snowflakes little children
Count them as they bury you alive
Count them as they choke the road ways
A blizzard's coming in the year punk died
One nine seven seven
This season has left us all helpless
I can't see and even God is blind
And deaf to all your prayers
There’s nothing that you can do
The weathers stronger than us all
The sky is going to crush you
This season’s growing cold
I fear that this could be the end
There’s no sign of hope
We’ve got a crisis on our hands.
2.08.2010
I'm snowed in... WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!?!?!
Ok... it's about time for an update, haven't had too much time to let my finicky fingers fly freely on this fresh and fruity keyboard. OH!!!! There's a lil' rambling alliteration for ya! So I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to talk about so I'm just gonna let loose. Oh! I know! The ridiculous amount of snow that has just fallen in the metro/DC area.
If you want a hysterical play by play, head on over to The Jiggle's Puff for a full winter weather advisory report and some fantastic satirical comments in between - definitely worth a read.
So I thought I'd make a list of what I've learned to be quite the awesomely distracting things to do whilst snowed in via mother nature's finest:
1) Hot Chocolate and Ice 101 - A standard in this type of weather. Warms the soul, the body and the libido... Hemmy hemmy hemmy
2) Create as many hysterical and egregious movie drinking games that you can. Here's a list of some of the best I've come to know: Boondock Saints, Garden State, Transporters 1, 2 and 3, LOTR 1,2 and 3 (it's all about the trilogies... can you guess what's next???) Matrix 1,2 and 3. It's ridiculous how many times you'll drink for the retarded things Neo says. These should get ya started on this one. Then go ahead and create your own
3) Look in your fridge, freezer, pantry, fire up the oven and stove and let your imagination run wild. Make the most incredible dishes that you've always thought would taste good but never had the time to do it. Mix and match whatever your heart desires. You'd be amazed at what you'll come up with and how delicious it is!
4) Make sure that you are drinking large amounts alcoholic beverages during all of these activities as it will make them that much more fun and interesting.
5) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Just a few thoughts from the snowed in mind of a rambler...
If you want a hysterical play by play, head on over to The Jiggle's Puff for a full winter weather advisory report and some fantastic satirical comments in between - definitely worth a read.
So I thought I'd make a list of what I've learned to be quite the awesomely distracting things to do whilst snowed in via mother nature's finest:
1) Hot Chocolate and Ice 101 - A standard in this type of weather. Warms the soul, the body and the libido... Hemmy hemmy hemmy
2) Create as many hysterical and egregious movie drinking games that you can. Here's a list of some of the best I've come to know: Boondock Saints, Garden State, Transporters 1, 2 and 3, LOTR 1,2 and 3 (it's all about the trilogies... can you guess what's next???) Matrix 1,2 and 3. It's ridiculous how many times you'll drink for the retarded things Neo says. These should get ya started on this one. Then go ahead and create your own
3) Look in your fridge, freezer, pantry, fire up the oven and stove and let your imagination run wild. Make the most incredible dishes that you've always thought would taste good but never had the time to do it. Mix and match whatever your heart desires. You'd be amazed at what you'll come up with and how delicious it is!
4) Make sure that you are drinking large amounts alcoholic beverages during all of these activities as it will make them that much more fun and interesting.
5) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Just a few thoughts from the snowed in mind of a rambler...
2.02.2010
"That's bullshit... You set your own high standards!"
So over the last 4 months I've been having a pretty large issue at work. I won't go into too much detail but I've just felt like a number, not a name and have felt next to no satisfaction in almost every aspect of what I do 8-10 hours a day. Monday night, the company took all us revenue peeps to quite an extravagant event that they probably shelled out 10k plus for. I went... slightly hesitant about how the night was going to go. I normally feel like a loner at these things since there are so many cliques in this company it's ridiculous. Consider it like high school. You've got the jocks, the funny/chill/laid back crowd, "plastic" esque cheerleaders, dorks, super uber dorks, druggies and alcoholics, etc.
I was never in a clique in high school. I tended to just float around and had a small group of friends that I depended on. Anyways, I learned an extremely important lesson from a buddy that night. For the most part, no matter what your job is, there are gonna be things that you simply just can't stand about them... it's just a fact. A favorite quote of mine is "I don't like work- nobody does- but I like what is in work-the chance to find yourself." Well that's exactly what this guy told me. He asked me, honestly asked me, how I was doing... and I put it on him. He listened with a very patient ear (like any good sales person) and when I finished my rant he slowly pulled away, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Ryland... That's bullshit! It doesn't matter (insert what I said to him about what tortures and torments this job was putting me through), you're gonna get that no matter where you go. When this happens, you set your own high standards. You work for you and yours. I don't care if that's a hobby, a family or a fucking drug. You do it for YOU."
He said it with such conviction, such passion, such energy that I had to ask, "So... you've been here before?" His obvious reply, "More times than I can count."
It was in that moment that I realized he was utterly right. His words cut to my core. Not only had he been there, he'd made it back out... and not just back out alive, but thriving. It was one of those "eureka" moments us homo sapiens tend to have every once and a while where we just go, "I fucking get it!". So, I thank you fellow wounded soldier - you gave me just what I needed to press on.
Now... what should I eat for lunch today???
I was never in a clique in high school. I tended to just float around and had a small group of friends that I depended on. Anyways, I learned an extremely important lesson from a buddy that night. For the most part, no matter what your job is, there are gonna be things that you simply just can't stand about them... it's just a fact. A favorite quote of mine is "I don't like work- nobody does- but I like what is in work-the chance to find yourself." Well that's exactly what this guy told me. He asked me, honestly asked me, how I was doing... and I put it on him. He listened with a very patient ear (like any good sales person) and when I finished my rant he slowly pulled away, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Ryland... That's bullshit! It doesn't matter (insert what I said to him about what tortures and torments this job was putting me through), you're gonna get that no matter where you go. When this happens, you set your own high standards. You work for you and yours. I don't care if that's a hobby, a family or a fucking drug. You do it for YOU."
He said it with such conviction, such passion, such energy that I had to ask, "So... you've been here before?" His obvious reply, "More times than I can count."
It was in that moment that I realized he was utterly right. His words cut to my core. Not only had he been there, he'd made it back out... and not just back out alive, but thriving. It was one of those "eureka" moments us homo sapiens tend to have every once and a while where we just go, "I fucking get it!". So, I thank you fellow wounded soldier - you gave me just what I needed to press on.
Now... what should I eat for lunch today???
1.31.2010
COD4: MW2
For those of you who immediately know what I'm referring to, then you now know that I'm a giant video game dork. For those of you who have played this game... you will definitely appreciate this unnecessary ramble. So I'm sitting here, in my living room, and one of my roommates is currently playing MW2 online... and I'm still fascinated by the game, even though I'm just watching it.
So... My here's my question: Why are we men obsessed with this game? Seriously - when you break it down, all we're doing is running around a fabricated "warzone" with a freaking gun and shooting anything that moves on our screen. After months and months of playing this game for hours a day it still beckons to me. Here's the thing: you rarely win, you're more often then not frustrated than pleased (as my roommate slams his fist down into the couch screaming "god dammit!" after having just received the blunt end of a magnum bullet to his "avatar's" head) and the game is pretty darn repetitive. Run, shoot, die. Run, shoot, die. Run... shoot... die. So what is it about this game that keeps us coming back for more?
Is it the satisfying "click" you hear when your bullet pierces through the body of your opponent who's potentially sitting on the other side of the world? Is it the numbers that pop up on screen arcade style confirming that you've killed your sworn enemy? Is it the thrill of the chase to get those 5,6,7,8 or even 15 kills in a row without dying, hence unlocking those ridiculous killstreak rewards like manned bombs, helicopters, airstrikes or even dropping a freaking nuke? Is it the satisfying feeling of being at the top of the kill list at the end of the game proving to everyone else that they are your weak underling and that you own their face????
Oh, there's another "god dammit" emanating from the couch.
I mean granted, the graphics are re-tartedly sick... the game play is flawless and smooth and the music and sound effects are unbelievable. But at the end of the day... it's a video game. 13 year olds talk smack to you when they kill you... and there's nothing my 24 year old ass can do about it except take it and shake my head in embarrassment...
K. Now that I've typed all this... I think I'm going to go get blown up and begin screaming unnecessary obscenities at my TV screen for the next hour. GRENAADDDAAA!!!!
So... My here's my question: Why are we men obsessed with this game? Seriously - when you break it down, all we're doing is running around a fabricated "warzone" with a freaking gun and shooting anything that moves on our screen. After months and months of playing this game for hours a day it still beckons to me. Here's the thing: you rarely win, you're more often then not frustrated than pleased (as my roommate slams his fist down into the couch screaming "god dammit!" after having just received the blunt end of a magnum bullet to his "avatar's" head) and the game is pretty darn repetitive. Run, shoot, die. Run, shoot, die. Run... shoot... die. So what is it about this game that keeps us coming back for more?
Is it the satisfying "click" you hear when your bullet pierces through the body of your opponent who's potentially sitting on the other side of the world? Is it the numbers that pop up on screen arcade style confirming that you've killed your sworn enemy? Is it the thrill of the chase to get those 5,6,7,8 or even 15 kills in a row without dying, hence unlocking those ridiculous killstreak rewards like manned bombs, helicopters, airstrikes or even dropping a freaking nuke? Is it the satisfying feeling of being at the top of the kill list at the end of the game proving to everyone else that they are your weak underling and that you own their face????
Oh, there's another "god dammit" emanating from the couch.
I mean granted, the graphics are re-tartedly sick... the game play is flawless and smooth and the music and sound effects are unbelievable. But at the end of the day... it's a video game. 13 year olds talk smack to you when they kill you... and there's nothing my 24 year old ass can do about it except take it and shake my head in embarrassment...
K. Now that I've typed all this... I think I'm going to go get blown up and begin screaming unnecessary obscenities at my TV screen for the next hour. GRENAADDDAAA!!!!
Blaaaging? Blooging? Oh blogging!
Rambling: To talk or write in a desultory or long-winded wandering fashion; to grow or extend irregularly. (Wait really??? HA! That's hysterical!)
Ryland: Total goofball
Like the creative alliteration don't you? I know you do... stop kidding yourself. And don't worry... I already know, you don't have to tell me - I am a literary genius. You can put me on the bookshelf right next to Aristotle, or Plato, or whoever it might have been to come up with "rhetoric." I probably spent a good 5 hours coming up with a name for this thing and it just kind of hit me on the front steps whilst shoveling snow from my driveway this afternoon. Odd place for that idea to pop into my head isn't it? Ahhh and hence begins the rambling!
Anywho.... lately a bunch of people that I consider to be particularly close in my life have either just started blogging or have been blogging for years, and still do it. That has to mean it's gotta be something cool right? So I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon. Not really sure what audience I'm writing this for... just kind of going off the cusp here. I'm gonna use this as a portal to write down and document all the random, weird, off-the-wall, deep or even very shallow thoughts that pass through this noggin of mine. So, if you're still reading this at this point... put your seat belt on mate cause it's gonna be a wild ride.
Well... not that wild. More like riding a very tame and non-testosterone filled pony horse... but you get to enjoy the scenery more!
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